ramblings about running, teaching, and life

Learning

howie

February 11, 2018

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Well.. guess I got a bit lazy with my blog. I’ve been writing, more than ever in fact.  Some of it was way too personal to print.  Then again, maybe it’ll help someone one day, I’m sure some of it will see the light of day, just need to change a few names to protect the innocent…

It’s weird though, ya know, last year I had something written about not racing much, but never printed it, and then randomly, someone I didn’t know,  told me they heard I was taking time off from racing. I hadn’t told anyone.  Why did they know my personal secret, or how?

Rocky Raccoon took a lot out of me. Not physically, but psychologically. I paced my buddy JP in a marathon, then turned around and finished 3rd in a 50k.  I’d heard that 100 could do that to you mentally, you really experience “Life in a day“.  If you haven’t watched that yet, do it now. I thought I was ready to come back and race again, but I wasn’t mentally.  So, I took time to learn to love running again, and myself as well.   I spent most of June and July exploring Seashore (First Landing State Park) and found trails I never knew existed.  I’ve learned to love being alone just running, clearing my head, and being at one in nature.  If I could, I’d move to a small cabin in the mountains, run trails all day, and work a small job that afforded me the luxury of keeping my near hippie lifestyle.  I learned I don’t need as much as I thought I needed,  material goods aren’t the end all be all, and that I love being in the woods.  Money can’t buy happiness, but it can enter me in races.  So there’s that.

I was running well again in the fall,  then.. totaled my car.  Knowing that I could be dead or could have killed someone for a split second of not paying attention.. well. There went my mental state again.  Just as soon as I started getting back, I slipped running hill sprints, hurt myself, and got setback.  I tried a 12 hour race, but bowed out at 35 miles.  I ran Seashore 50k with a long run of 14/15 miles in the 2 months preceding (the 12 hour was quite a bit of walking). Then, magically, after that race, it all came back to me. Thank god for great running friends, who are really just great friends. They can pull ya back when it all goes wrong.

I entered the Western States and Leadville lotteries, hoping for a near miracle to get in.  I didn’t, but I am setting myself up to get there one day.  Those two, along with Massanutten 100, the Bear 100, and Wasatch 100 are races I’d like to do one day. Hardrock.. well. it would be a long walk high in the mountains, one that would probably break me.. but I wanna try that too.  I don’t know my limits, but I’d like to keep exploring them.

I also wanna try a fast 50 miler again.  I know I can break 7 hours.  I ran JFK with no speedwork, just lots of miles and went out wayyy to slow.

I debated Shamrock or One City this year.  I’ve been putting down a few speedy sessions reminiscent of my Marine Corps training 3 years ago.  How that race was that long ago.. I don’t know.  I almost miss the marathon.  Almost.

I entered a 100k, around a golf course next week.  I haven’t the slightest idea of how I will do, other than I’ll learn more about me.

Being a math coach is everything and nothing like I though it would be.  I miss the day to day with kids.  But I like trying to help teachers. I see that trying to make teachers clones of you, or clones of someone else, is a failure waiting to happen.  We have our own styles in life.  Those have to be respected, even if it isn’t what we’d do.  The true test of a coach is based on how do we make someone better than they were while still respecting their ideals. A coach can’t push their style or method on someone and expect them to become just like them, it never works. We have to finagle and work to mesh what they do, with something that can help their students.  It’s hard. Sometimes, I want my own class back and do what works for me.  I’m good at teaching, not bragging. I know that you have to have faith in each and every kid. That some kids don’t fit the “advanced” profile, but are smarter than me. I’ve learned shiny new toys, ones that glisten brightly.. lose their luster fast.  Especially when adversity hits. We have to welcome change, otherwise we don’t grow. There is no one right method and if you expect different.. failure is not only an option, it should be expected.

I’ll be updating more and more.  I like to ramble… but.. there’s a time and place for that.

 

 

 

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